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January 26, 2013 / gameofslaves

A bit of insight…

Today:  A quick update, followed by more about me and my process-thinking.

“Hell Breaks Loose” is coming together! The first release will be beta, so readers here will be able to become my beta-testers. It will be utilitarian and unrefined. Mostly, a lot of cut and paste.  I’ve started adding features so there will be some-few options for tactical choices, but a lot of what happens will be out of the hands of the player.  I rely heavily upon random number generation behind the scenes.

Also, I am polishing my work on the first chapter from my Acteon fiction that I am going to post.  (Yes, really.)  This piece was written… a couple of years ago, I think.  (After I post it, I’ll check the dates.)

About me… One of my primary positive personal character traits is that I like starting new projects. Getting inspired and building something is so empowering and uplifting. However, one of my flaws is in dealing with the follow-through. That’s actually one of the reasons I started this blog and paid for the domain name… I want to finish some things!

I figured if I expose myself (however slightly), and give myself some impetus, I might actually work some things to completion. …and that is the tricky word, right there: “completion”.

Some of my projects never became “completed” because I didn’t think they were good enough, so they’ve been in an infinite “refine – polish – refine – polish – refine – polish” loop.  It was never good enough. …and perhaps never would be.

Was my idea flawed or simply bad or boring?  In a couple of cases, yes.  But most of the time, the self-critical processes were just too demanding.

Another reason I started the blog was to hopefully get some visibility and feedback. I know my work will not please everyone, and I’m very aware of trolls and troll behavior. <rant> If you spend any time online, you’ve got to be aware of the “troll factor”. Some people are just asses and need to be ignored, while others troll for the “fun”. I’m aware of what I’m facing. Even more-so when I consider the subject matter of my many interests. Criticism is something I can take; ass-holiness will be ignored. </rant>

Wow.  That ended up being a lot more of a rant than I expected.  Sorry! (I added the rant-tags after.)

So back to my original theme: follow-through.

When I started this, I was inspired and started to run with it. I knew I could do something interesting which hadn’t been done (at least not that I could find!)… but first, I’d need to meet a couple of requirements. Foremost of these was follow-through. Did I think I could really make something from my idea? Could I make something that would be “good enough”? How could I inspire myself to invest the time and energy and see a final result?

Yes. Yes. And… peer pressure might work.

So, I created this blog hoping to be inspired by the interest of others.  …and it is working!  I’ve been relatively good about posting weekly (and sometimes weakly, I admit).  Every few days, I check the hit-counters for this page, and I feel renewed vigor to complete things to share.

<rant 2>I know my hit-counts are NOTHING compared to some of my peers and ‘idols’ who happen to be rockstars compared to me. I have no illusions regarding that. I don’t ever expect to ‘compete’ with their numbers. Knowing there are others (even if they don’t reply to my posts) who are interested in my thoughts, ideas, and projects… it inspires me to push further because I enjoy sharing with others.</rant 2>

To be clear, I’m not doing this for “other people”, per se. But I am doing it for others, also. I’m not going to be able to please everyone. But if I can entertain or educate others, that will make me happy. And that’s my primary reason for doing this; to make me happy.

To all: Thank you for reading and visiting. It does help my projects.

– Cam

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