Two years?

It’s been two years since I started this blog.

*pausing to reflect*

Wow.

Here are some results:

What I don’t have:

• I don’t have any code to share.  (Rather, no runnable results from said code.)
• No fiction. (I have one chapter of fiction, posted to the other blog, on another topic other than this one.)
• Focus.
• Discipline.

What I do have:

• A lot of rambling.
• A history of many attempts to sort through the myriad of creativity which roams freely through my head.
• Two years of watching my patterns of creativity ebb and flow.
• A fair number of lurkers who read but do not post.  (And I’m fine with that. I know you’re there.)
• A lot of documentation (in the form of rambling notes) about my processes and theories.
• A lot of starts to projects, with more being added by the month, it seems.
• A place to vent and express some insights.
• A clearer path to understanding myself as a programmer, than I’ve ever had before.

The lists are not even; they are imbalanced.  I like the leaning.  I have more than I lack, and from a statistical POV (Point-of-view), that’s a good thing.  (Granted I’m not associating weight/value to each, but give me a break… also, I’m not including the painfully obvious such as green-blooded marionettes.  Not here, but not relevant.  Natch.)

I also noticed that I skipped two weeks since my last post.  I thought I’d skipped one week, but… oops.

I’ve been in a consumption state, lately, rather than a productive.  This is part of my cycle.  It happens.

I’ve also been thinking about the past.  Much past to consider.  Not just the last two years, but far beyond that, too.  I’ve been thinking heavily on games I’ve played and run (RPG, LARP, strategy, cards, etc).  I’ve also been thinking about the people in my past.  It started with “My Crazy Summer” and has been progressing from there.  I’ve been blessed with some good people in my life, and some strange people.  As you read & play my writing & games you’ll see reflections of some of them.  You’ll sometimes see the idealized versions, and sometimes you’ll see the unmitigated truth… as I recall it to be.

I’ve been up all night, marathon-ing my way through a TV series (the little-known “Continuum”).  It’s about time-travel, high-technology, and doing the right thing even when the results will suck for you.  It’s also about being true to who you are and what you believe in, deep inside.

[I wrote that at 6AM. I was very tired… but I still stand by it.]

– Cam