I do not think I am able to “go small”

Hey all…  you’re quiet, but I can hear you breathing… *smirk*

I took some time off to just focus on playing some games (so many have come out in the last month!) while trying to study and plan details on several of my projects.  It’s the details that get to me.  …and it’s the fine details which make me want to jump to a faster train.

I think that’s the thing I enjoy about creating: making the big changes, setting the primary course.

In the beginning, everything is moving so quick and things are malleable… and I am able to shape and re-shape things as my heart desires.

But once major implementation is complete, things tend to slow down as I get to finer details.  It’s the slow period which… well… bores me. And that lends me toward jumping to another project.

I think that’s part of why I like to create new projects… the speed… the big changes… the control… shifting the direction… setting the course…  *deep breath*  Yeah.

It makes sense that since I am inclined to make changes, I am unable to do things “small”.  I keep trying to do small projects.  …and then I get inspired and >BOOM!< it becomes huge.

Someone asked (challenged?) me to do something small and simple…  and it was okay.  It wasn’t a “game” per se, but more of a simulator which let the player advance or negate a transformation sequence in phases.  It was VERY SIMPLE.  Very basic.  No graphics, no story, no background — just a very simple scale of progression.  Easy enough.

I was nearly finished (~45 minutes) when I was struck by inspiration…  *heavy, dramatic sigh*  …yeah… and then I was coming up with a whole background with backstories, environments, and options for player choices… and… yeah.  It was now a huge undertaking.

I couldn’t (can’t?) bring myself to cut any of the major “features”.  It is becoming a big production… but all my goals are well within sight!  I’ve got myself convinced that I can make this (most of it, at least) into something playable and fun. …and all within a reasonable scale and timetable.

Is it really?

I don’t know.

I’m aware I can delude myself and adjust my perspective to a scale which makes it all seem possible.

I’m reminded of a scene in a movie:  Car exploded leaving our hero and his partner alone on a deserted road.  “We’ll just head to the coast and make our way… blah-blah.”  “Do you have any idea how FAR IT IS to the coast from here?” *blink-blink* “Pish!  It’s only about an inch… on those global maps… no problem.”

Scale and perspective.

Many of the games I’ve been playing are incomplete.  (Such is the indie dev scene.) …and when I run into incomplete territory, it’s easy for me to say “but how hard would it be to add this? Really?  I could do that in 30 minutes!”

Very easy to say.  Not so easy to do.  Knowing me, I’d start work on it, get inspired, and then begin work on a whole new variant… or a sequel… or… something.

Bah.

Am I able to do “small”?  I really don’t know.  I know that it’s not as much fun.   …and fun is why I do this.

I guess it’s like asking an addict “could you stop?” and they invariably respond “I could… if I wanted to”.

Do I really want to keep it small?  Am I an ‘addict’?

Hm.

Jus’ sayin’… 

– Cameron